Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Preview! - Chapter One of Amelia Thorne's Beneath the Moon and the Stars

I am delighted to be able to give a sneaky peek at Amelia Thorne's Beneath the Moon and Stars today- and better still, further chapters revealed tomorrow and Friday!!! 
Prologue
Joy crouched down behind the bush, her heart hammering against her chest. Someone had called the police and now, after two years, she was finally going to get caught.

Her car was hidden in the dark trees behind her and she glanced towards it, trying to decide whether to make a run for it. It was quite far, maybe a hundred metres or more. She peered through the leaves at her would-be captor. He was a lot older than she was and held a bit of weight on his stomach. She was certain she could outrun him. But running would draw his attention, as would the noise of the engine.

She couldn’t get caught, her life would be over.

The policeman walked slowly towards where she was and she tried to make herself as small as possible. He was only a few metres away now. If she was going to run, now was the time to do it.

Suddenly another policeman came round the edge of the house with a dog; a great, snarling Alsatian.

‘Come on Phil, there’s nothing there,’ the dog handler called. ‘There’s no sign of a break in, no damage, it was probably just kids messing about. They’ll be long gone by now. Or shall I release Tiger; he’s dying for a run around?’

Tiger? Joy swallowed as she felt cold sweat prickle her neck.

‘Keep that savage beast on the lead, you know we don’t see eye to eye,’ Phil called back, rubbing his bum as he obviously remembered his last run in with the evil hound.

Tiger and his owner disappeared back round the house and with a last look in her direction Phil turned away too.

Just then her stomach gurgled loudly and Phil whipped back to face her, grabbing his baton like it was a loaded gun.

‘Colin!’ called Phil.

Her heart in her mouth, she leapt up and ran.

‘Oi! Police!’ yelled Phil. ‘Stay where you are.’

Joy leapt over a log and tore through the trees. Behind her she heard Tiger bark and she pushed herself faster. The branches caught her clothes and hair, like fingers dragging her back.

Black metal gleamed in the moonlight and she ran for it. She threw her rucksack into the passenger seat as torchlight danced through the trees towards her.

She quickly started the car, threw it into reverse and seconds later she hit the road. Thanking her brother for teaching her the darker side of how to drive, she slammed her foot on the brake and spun the wheel, executing a perfect J-turn manoeuvre, before tearing off up the road.

The road stayed empty behind her.

She took the first turn off and her wheels screeched as she took several other corners in quick succession. She turned the engine off as she parked outside a quiet, unassuming row of cottages and threw herself across the passenger seat.

A minute later she heard the sound of the police car tearing along the main road. The siren faded into the distance and she knew she was safe.

With a shaky hand, she pushed her hair from her face and waited for her heart to stop pounding. That was close, too close.

 

 

Chapter One

‘Please let me lick it,’ Joy said.

‘Uh uh, no way, not in my car,’ Alex said. ‘I’m driving as fast as I can. Bloody stupid country lanes, could you have picked anywhere more remote than this to live?’

She smiled as they passed the village sign: “Bramble Hill; Voted Britain’s Friendliest Village for the Last Nine Years.”

‘I love that it’s in the middle of nowhere. It’s so cute and quiet. Fifty-six people live in this village Al, can you imagine. Pretty soon I’ll know them all by name. There’ll be Mrs Twinkly Eyes who will invite me in for a slice of homemade lemon drizzle cake whilst she regales me with stories from her youth. Mr Silver Hair who will come round to offer advice on my garden, and lovely mummies who will invite me round for coffee and we’ll chat in the garden whilst the angelic little cherubs play quietly nearby. And there’s a local pub, a proper local. Do you know how long I’ve wanted a proper local? Somewhere the landlord knows your name, knows your usual tipple and has it waiting for you on the bar as soon as you walk in. There’ll be cake sales and village fairs and people will give me eggs and fresh vegetables in return for my delicious apple pies. I can’t wait.’

She surreptitiously licked a tiny droplet of chocolate ice cream off her hand and looked up at Alex who was smiling at her.

‘What?’

‘What’s it like in your head Joy, is everything slightly rose-tinted? Your glass is permanently overflowing isn’t it? When it rains you smile because it’s good for the garden. Joy by name, Joy by nature.’

She smiled at the turn of phrase he had used for years as he pulled up outside the house.

He leaned over her looking out on the tiny whitewashed cottage. ‘Are you sure about this place? It’s quite close to Blueberry Farm.’

She frowned slightly. ‘I know. That wasn’t my intention. When I agreed to move here, I had no idea it was so close. Maybe it’s fate though; maybe it’s time I came home.’

His face darkened at this. It was the same disagreement they’d had for the last few years. He put his fingers to his heart. ‘Home is in here, you know that, it’s not a much-revered bunch of bricks. And you shouldn’t allow fate, tradition or sentiment to dictate where you live. You just need to open your heart to new possibilities.’ He brushed a stray hair from her face. ‘This is a fresh start for you; I hope you get everything you want from this.’

‘I’ve had a lot of fresh starts and none of them worked. But I have a good feeling about this place.’ She ignored the protest that Alex was quickly forming and pressed on. ‘It’s not just its proximity to Blueberry Farm. There’s something about here that feels like coming home.’ She negotiated the door handle with her little finger and carefully clambered out, holding the two ice creams precariously in her hands. ‘You’ll see. Moving here will be the best thing that has ever happened to me.’

She ignored the look from Alex. Admittedly, she’d said that for the previous eight places she had lived in over the last few years, but this time she hoped it would be different. She turned back towards the house and walked straight into someone.

‘Oh sorry.’ Joy leapt back and to her horror realised that the man now had two large round chocolate stains on his gleaming, white shirt almost as if two fake breasts had been painted on. An expensive shirt too, she recognised the little logo on the breast pocket.

‘Oh god, I’m so sorry, I…’

He glared down at her and then down at his shirt in shock. She balanced the ice creams in one hand and fished a tissue from her pocket. But as she started to wipe away the ice cream, all she succeeded in doing was mushing the chocolate stain into a larger area across his shirt. He stood watching her as she desperately tried to get some off but made the stain bigger every time she touched him. Now tissue bits were sticking themselves to the shirt too. She abandoned the tissue, which was now hanging off him, and used her hand instead. As she felt his heart thud against her fingers, he suddenly caught her hand and moved it off him.

Joy’s mouth went dry. The man was huge, the largest man she had ever seen in her life. He was almost like a bear in terms of size and build, the hand that had pushed her own hand away was like a giant paw. His hair was a shaggy, dirty blond mess that fell across his eyes. Slate grey eyes, like thunder clouds.

In stark contrast to the angry bear before her, a shaggy grey mongrel stood at his side, wagging his tail, his tongue falling out of his mouth in what looked like an amused grin.

Emboldened by the dog’s smile, she tried one of her own. ‘I really am very sorry. I’ll pay to have your shirt cleaned of course and…’

Suddenly Alex was by her side, obviously sensing there was trouble brewing.

‘Hey, there’s no harm done here we’ll pay to have your shirt cleaned or for a new shirt, and as it was obviously an accident it would be a shame to start off on the wrong foot. This is Joy, your new neighbour, and I’m Alex, her brother.’

Joy watched as the big man tore his glare away from her and his eyes slid to Alex.

‘Brother?’ he asked, deliberately ignoring Alex’s outstretched hand.

Alex nodded.

‘For Christ’s sake,’ he muttered as he stormed away.

‘Well you certainly know how to make a good first impression,’ Alex said.

‘I’m sure I can win him round.’

‘I’m sure you can. You’re my favourite person in the world and if he can’t see how fantastic you are, then he’s blind.’

Joy passed Alex his rather squished ice cream and followed him into the house. She glanced back at the large man disappearing down the road and tried to ignore the butterflies that were fluttering with unease around her stomach.

*

The sun was setting over Bramble Hill as Joy drove down towards the tiny village with the last load of her stuff. She had picked it up from Alex’s house, nearly an hour’s drive from her new home, and waved away offers for him to spend the first night with her.

Next to the village sign she’d just passed was another that she hadn’t noticed before. It was weather beaten, decorated in tiny delicate flowers and said; “Bramble Hill, Home of Finn Mackenzie.” She wondered who that might be; the village founder perhaps, or some old scout leader who had taken boys camping and taught them how to make fires since before she was born. She was sure she would find out over the next few days.

The village looked beautiful basked in the rosy glow of the sun as she drove down the hill towards the cluster of whitewashed cottages. It was peaceful and quiet. There was a tiny duck pond, glinting pink and gold as the little white ducks bobbed on the water, an old beamed pub, called charmingly The Peacock’s Pride, a tiny shop, and that was it. Life here would be as idyllic and quiet as the village itself.

She drew up outside her house and sighed. Home, sweet home.

Opening her boot, she hefted her large chainsaw over her shoulder, picked up a smaller one and grabbed a bag of some of her other power tools.

‘Hey, would you like some help?’ came a voice from behind her.

She turned to see a man hurrying towards her. It was the smile she saw first an honest, genuine smile that spread to his denim blue eyes. He was quite broad in the shoulder, and wearing very tight jeans. His dark hair was floppy over his eyes, in a sexy, unruly, unkempt kind of way.

Although she had carried the large chainsaw many times over the years and she was used to the weight, she wasn’t about to turn down an offer of help from someone, it might appear rude. Besides, he was the first person who had actually spoken to her since she had arrived.

‘Sure, that would be great.’ She carefully passed the chainsaw into his waiting hands.

‘This isn’t the twelve tonnes of makeup and hair products I was expecting,’ he said, following her into the house.

She smiled at the dig. ‘I’ve already unpacked that.’

‘Now if my detective skills haven’t let me down, you must be Jo Carter.’

‘I’m afraid they have. Joy Cartier, my landlord is Joe Carter.’

He was clearly thrown by this.

‘I know, weird isn’t it? Similar sounding names, but no relation.’

‘This could be a problem,’ he mumbled, clearly more to himself than to her. She looked at him waiting for clarification but his lovely smile quickly returned and he changed the subject. ‘I’m Casey Fallowfield, my brother Zach lives next door. This place looks great.’

They walked through the house and towards the shed. ‘Thanks, though I can’t take any of the credit. Joe did all the decorating. I’m just renting from him. Just put that on the shelf up there.’

The shed was very small and Casey leaned up over her to put the chainsaw on the shelf, revealing a flash of brown, toned belly. She swallowed. He was standing so close and his fresh citrus smell made something clench in her stomach.

He flashed her a grin as he let go of the chainsaw and she blushed. He knew she had just been staring at his stomach.

‘So the chainsaws, what are they for?’

‘Cutting wood,’ she said.

‘This is a very expensive chainsaw though, and are those your initials engraved onto the side?’

She brushed past him as she headed out the shed.

‘You’re not… The Dark Shadow are you?’ He grinned, clearly not believing she was.

She laughed. ‘Isn’t he supposed to be some eight foot tall alien, or a time traveller, or a demon from the underworld?’ Some of the conspiracy theories surrounding The Dark Shadow were ridiculous.

‘I heard it was animals, trying to send us a message. Or fairies, definitely fairies.’

‘I heard…’ she looked around to make sure no one was listening, ‘that it was a Scotsman.’

Casey gasped theatrically. ‘Nooooo.’

‘A nine foot Scotsman with a twelve foot long red beard, eyes of coal, arms of steel, teeth made from razor blades.’

‘Those Scotsmen are savage.’

‘Well I’m sure the Scottish are perfectly wonderful people, it’s just this one that’s savage. Some say he’s actually a vampire and he’s hundreds of years old. Can I offer you a beer?’

‘Sure, then you can tell me about the chainsaws.’

She smiled at him over her shoulder. ‘You’re nosy aren’t you?’

‘People interest me you interest me, Joy. Where have you come from? Why did you come here? Was it to run away from something or towards something? What do you do for a job? Though it must be something good to afford the rent in this place… and what’s with the hulking great autographed chainsaw in your shed?’

‘Wow those are a lot of questions.’ She passed him a beer and came back to stand on the decking, watching the sun sink behind the hills. ‘Maybe one day I’ll tell you the answers.’

‘Ah a woman of mystery. I suddenly like you a whole heap more.’

She chinked her beer against his. ‘To friendship then, and to sucking out all the gory details of each other’s personal lives.’

‘I like it, that’s what true friendship is all about; being beholden to each other over our deepest darkest secrets.’

She smiled. ‘So what are yours?’

‘I’ll need more than just a sip of beer inside me to tell you that.’

She turned back to the view.

Just then the large man, who she had literally bumped into earlier, walked out into his garden. Her heart leapt. He wasn’t wearing a top and his whole body seemed to shout muscles. He was so tall, nearly two feet taller than her tiny five feet. He was filthy and sweaty and Joy had never been so turned on in her entire life.

She watched him pick up a large tree, as easily as if he was picking up a daffodil, and place it carefully into a large hole. He patted the soil gently around it, as if the tree was made from china. More soil was added until the tree was secure. He stood up and drank long and deep from a bottle of water. As he moved, the sunlight caught a piercing in his nipple. Joy tried to swallow but realised her throat was now parched. She took a long swig of beer and suddenly remembered Casey standing next to her.

She quickly turned to him, blushing furiously at the thought that he would have caught her gawping so avidly. To her surprise his attention was well and truly caught by the beautiful man next door as well. His eyes, as she imagined hers were right now, were dark with lust and desire.

Joy took another sip of beer, whilst she pondered this, watching the man next door pick up his tools and take them to his shed. As he turned back, he caught them watching, scowled first at her and then broke into a huge grin when he saw Casey and waved at him before going back into his own house.

Casey took a long sip of beer, which he had clearly forgotten about whilst he had enjoyed the show, and then looked at Joy in what he clearly hoped was a nonchalant way.

She arched an eyebrow at him and he sighed.

‘That… was Finn Mackenzie, my best friend and the man I’ve been secretly in love with for the last fifteen years.’

Joy smiled at him in sympathy. Unrequited love was the worst.

He chinked his beer against the side of hers, dryly. ‘Come inside and we can start on at least one of my dark and gruesome secrets.’

She followed him in, and sensing this unburdening was going to need a bit more than cheap beer, she grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and a huge slab of chocolate. She went through to the lounge where Casey was already sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands.

‘You saw it didn’t you, the way I looked at him,’ he said.

‘What, the same look of desire that I had on my face? Yes, I saw it.’

Casey looked up with a sheepish smile. ‘He is beautiful isn’t he?’

Joy shook her head with admiration and sat down next to him. ‘He’s magnificent. If we’re sharing secrets, I might as well share mine with you. When I saw that pierced nipple, I wanted nothing more than to run over and lick it.’

Casey laughed, loudly. ‘Oh, I know. I went with him when he got that done. It gave me a good excuse to touch it, you know, purely out of curiosity.’

She grinned. ‘Of course.’

Darcy, her great, beloved Newfoundland, hauled herself up from the cool tiled fireplace to finally greet the new visitor. Casey stroked her absently, but his smile faltered as he thought. ‘Do you think he saw how I was looking at him?’

‘I doubt it. Men are blind to these things. Besides, he waved at you. All I got was a scowl.’

‘Yeah I clocked that. It’s your hair, he has a thing about redheads, can’t stand them.’

Joy felt her mouth pop open. ‘That’s a bit… hairist.’

Casey smiled again. ‘To be fair, he’s anti all women at the moment.’

‘Oh… so he’s gay as well?’

Casey laughed even louder at this. ‘Oh god, I wish. That would be all my Christmases, birthdays, dreams and wishes come true in one fell swoop. No Finn is straight. He just hates women after his ex-wife cheated on him. He hasn’t been with anyone since. Though not from lack of offers from the entire female population of Bramble Hill and the other local villages. They were queuing up once Pippa left, but he hasn’t shown a flicker of interest. He has been sullen to the point of rude and still they fancy their chances.’

‘Maybe his marriage broke up because he was gay.’

‘You’re just saying that to cheer me up. No he’s definitely straight. But it’s not just women he has a problem with. He’s rude to everyone; well he has been for the last eighteen months. So don’t take it personally. He says very little, keeps himself to himself, never gets involved with village life. Never gets involved with anyone. You’ll be no different. Well except that you have red hair. He’ll hate you for that.’

Joy frowned.

‘Pippa was a redhead so now he has tarred all redheads with the same brush,’ Casey explained as he finished his beer and opened the wine.

‘And how do the villagers take to his rudeness?’

‘They love him.’ Casey obviously saw the look of confusion on her face. ‘You know who he is right?’

She shook her head.

‘Finn Mackenzie, the actor?’

She shrugged, still none the wiser.

‘He was in that vampire trilogy years ago In The Darkness, The Taste of Blood and, my personal favourite, The Spoils of War. God, that bit when he bathes naked in the moonlit lake… I think I ruined my video by pausing it so often in the same place. I should have realised back then that I was gay, when all my friends were drooling over the beautiful Scarlet Rome and all I could see was Finn.’

He must have seen the blank look on her face.

‘You haven’t seen them, really? You must be the only living woman not to. What exactly were you doing twenty years ago?’

‘I was nine, so…’ She trailed off as she realised exactly what she was doing twenty years before.

‘You might have been a bit young to appreciate the first film, but the second and the third? How could it have passed you by?’

She shrugged. ‘I guess it did.’

‘He was fourteen when he filmed the first one and nineteen by the time the last one came out. Overnight he became this Hollywood sensation, the press followed him around everywhere. He hated it. I don’t think he had any idea what it would be like for him to be suddenly famous. After Spoils was finished he withdrew from public life. He had so many offers to do so many different projects, but he wasn’t interested at all. He hasn’t done anything for the last fifteen years.’

She smiled at Casey’s enthusiasm for Finn. ‘I guess it’s safe to say, you’re his biggest fan.’

‘I am yes, but we’ve been friends since we were both knee high to a grasshopper. It wasn’t the fame thing that attracted me. Hell, you’ve seen him the man’s a god.’

‘I take it you haven’t told him how you feel?’

‘Good Lord, no, definitely not. No one knows I’m gay. You’re the first person I’ve told, and I wouldn’t have told you if you hadn’t caught me drooling. I’m normally better at disguising it than that. Well I hope I am.’

Joy frowned slightly. ‘You’ve been gay for fifteen years and never told anyone?’

‘No. Not really. I mean yes, my inappropriate crush on my best friend has lasted fifteen years but I guess I never really accepted I was gay until recently. A year, maybe two.’

‘But why haven’t you told your parents? Would they be awful about it?’

Casey poured two large glasses of wine, broke off a huge chunk of chocolate and shoved it in his mouth. It took him a few moments to answer whilst he chewed on it.

‘Honestly, I think they would have been ok with it. I come from a very loving family and all they’ve ever wanted was for me and Zach to be happy. But I think their friends would give them hell over it. They’re… Mum’s incredibly wealthy and there’s always social gatherings balls, seven course dinners, big charity events that they used to attend with Lord and Lady Chalsworth, the Earl of Menton Hall, and Sir Ronald Chase-Matthews.’ He affected a posh voice as he reeled off his fellow socialites. ‘I’ve always shied away from it myself, which I think disappointed them slightly. Zach is more into the social networking, keeping up with the Joneses malarkey than I am. As the oldest son, they would have loved nothing more than if I attended these functions with some beautiful lady on my arm. If I were to turn up with a beautiful man on my arm instead… Well, I don’t think their friends would be as understanding.’

Joy broke off a chunk of chocolate and chewed on it, thoughtfully. ‘So you’re never going to tell them?’

‘I suppose, if I found someone I loved, truly loved and who loved me too, then perhaps I would be brave enough to say, “this is the man that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with”. But it’s hard to find that man when no one knows I’m actually gay.’

‘My brother’s gay,’ Joy said and then laughed at the look on his face. ‘No, don’t worry. I wasn’t trying to set you up with him. I hate that when people do that to me, “oh you’re single, he’s single, why don’t the two of you get together?” No, you’re not his type at all. Alex prefers big men, just as you do it seems. No I just meant maybe he could take you out to some gay bars, give you a chance to meet some men that are in the same boat.’

‘He’s… openly gay?’

She nodded.

‘And how did your parents take to that?’

‘They didn’t. They were both killed in a car accident when he was seventeen. I’m not sure if he had even figured it out by that point. He came out to me a few years later.’

‘Oh god Joy, I’m so sorry, that’s terrible. Your parents being killed obviously, not your brother being gay.’

She swallowed the lump in her throat that was always there when she spoke about her parents. ‘It’s fine. It’s been twenty years.’

‘You were nine?’

She nodded again.

‘That’s what you were doing twenty years ago. I was fawning over my best friend dressed in leather and you were mourning the loss of your parents. I’m sorry. Who raised you after they’d died?’

‘Al did. He was three weeks away from been eighteen. He lied about his age, told the authorities he was eighteen and as such was my legal guardian. By the time they checked, he was eighteen.’

‘He raised you on his own?’

She smiled. ‘I know, looking back, I just took it for granted that he was there. He had always been there, always would be there for me. I didn’t think until I was eighteen myself what he should have been doing that going clubbing, getting drunk, going to parties should have been a way of life for him. He wanted to go to university, train to be in the film industry. He put it all on hold to look after me. He did a superb job too. He wasn’t just my brother, he was my dad, my mum and my friend. Can you imagine, when all his friends were graduating university, or coming back from travelling the world, he was sitting down with me explaining to me about periods. He was amazing.’

‘Sounds like someone I’d like to meet.’

‘You should, just so you have at least one gay friend to talk to about all this stuff. Maybe he can help you to come out to your family. Or at least help you find someone other than Finn to set your sights on.’

Just then there was a loud knock on the door.    

Casey stretched back into the sofa. ‘Well I don’t think we’ve done too badly in the sharing of our deepest, darkest secrets for one night. Maybe we’ll stop there before I discover that the chainsaw is for hacking up bodies.’

‘Damn it, now I’m going to have to kill you too.’ She moved to answer the door and Darcy followed.

Joy opened it and the man standing on the doorstep was so obviously Casey’s brother, Zach. He had the same washed denim eyes, the same black floppy hair, but where Casey’s unkempt style had probably taken seconds to achieve, Zach’s unruly “I don’t care about my hair” look had probably taken hours of styling. He had the sexy designer stubble in comparison to Casey’s clean shaven face. But feeling horribly disloyal to her new friend, she had to admit that Zach had the edge when it came to sex appeal.

‘What have you done with my brother?’ asked Zach, his mouth twitching into a smirk. ‘I know he’s in there with you. I saw him carry that chainsaw into your house, and he hasn’t come out since. If you’ve chopped him up into tiny pieces you’ll have me to answer to.’

She fixed him with a dark look. ‘Why don’t you come down to the cellar and I’ll show you what I’ve done with him.’

‘Ha I’ve seen that film. I go down to the cellar with you and the next thing I’m manacled to a table as you cut out my innards. Not a chance. Unless it’s bondage you’re into, then I wouldn’t mind a bit of manacling.’

She laughed. ‘I’m Joy, you must be Zach?’

‘Ah he mentioned me did he, just before you brutally murdered him?’

Just then Casey appeared behind her. ‘Fret not little brother, she tried to kill me, but I fought her off. Are you ready to go down the pub?’

‘Yep, is the murderer coming with us?’

‘She sure is. We’ll introduce her to the friendly folk down The Pride.’

Joy couldn’t fail to miss the sarcastic way Casey had said friendly.

‘Hey, they’re ok… just not keen on newcomers,’ Zach said. ‘They’ll take a while to warm to you but I’m sure you’ll win them round.’ He moved closer to her, his eyes casting over her. She stroked Darcy, a useful prop to focus on as she found herself embarrassed by the sheer hunger in his eyes.

Casey moved to stand by her side, forcing Zach to move back a bit. ‘Go and grab my wallet would you, I left it on the coffee table.’

Zach nodded and with a last dark look in her direction, he scooted back to his house. Joy tried to calm her heart down before she turned back to Casey. What was wrong with her? Three times her pulse had quickened in the last half hour, each time with someone different. It had clearly been too long since she’d been with a man.

Casey closed the door behind Zach and turned to her.

‘I like you Joy, so let me give you one piece of advice. Don’t get involved with my brother. Women are like a game to him. He’ll lavish you with attention and charm but once he’s had you, he’ll move onto the next. If he had notches on his bedpost, he would’ve gone through several bedposts by now. I shudder to think how many women he’s actually slept with. Don’t be one of them. Now…’ he opened the door and offered her his arm, ‘… let me escort you down The Pride.’

Zach was already waiting with his dark looks of appreciation. Joy sighed inwardly; she really didn’t need to get involved with a serial womaniser. And with her definitely not being Casey’s type, and Finn hating the ground she walked on, it didn’t seem her dry patch would be ending any time soon.


If you enjoyed this chapter, check back here tomorrow to read chapter 2 or you can pre-order your copy here.


 

Friday, 10 October 2014

Going Off Alarmingly- Danny Baker



I've been waiting and waiting for this second instalment of Danny Baker's autobiography to be released.  And it has been a wait.  Originally it was expected to be released back in the spring, and I'd listen to Danny Baker STILL talking about writing his book on 5 Live or VSPO and think 'just hurry up!'.  I'm not sure if it was the notorious 'tricky second album' syndrome, health or work commitments which delayed the release of Going Off Alarmingly, but by the time I got my hands on a copy I was more than ready.

Going to Sea in a Sieve, part one of the Danny Baker story, was charming.  Life in post-war London, larger than life characters and the roguish, cheeky chappy personality of young Danny at the heart of it all.  Going Off Alarmingly is the next step, the 'settling-down-and-Daz-doorstep- challenge' years, if you will. 

If you're already a fan of Danny, a lot of the more entertaining stories in Going Off Alarmingly are ones you might have heard before.  There were a few times I thought 'yep, I know this one' when the familiar opening gambit of a favoured anecdote started up.  I guess what I'm saying is that I hoped for some new tales from his interesting life (the ones with his Dad involved are always, without fail, corkers).  That's the negative out of the way.

The most lovely thing about Going Off Alarmingly is how the love for his family radiates off the page.  From the beautiful, brief and touching preface which talks of his brother Mickey's death in terms anyone who has lost a loved one can relate to ('I am just no good at morbid reportage...my brother died...how do you think it fucking felt?') to the tales of house buying with his beloved Wend and the birth of his first two children- it is a heartfelt love story.  And the best bit?  Danny and Wendy are a couple like every other couple, buying veg for their tea at Asda and asking their parents for advice about house renovation. They just seem normal, not like celebrities.

The obvious name-drop moments (Gazza, Chris Evans, Jonathan Ross) associated with the genre are all there, which will satisfy the nosey blighters looking for gossip.  No scandal though, so rubberneckers can wind it in, but enough titbits to feel you get an insight.

Overall, I didn't enjoy Going Off Alarmingly as much as Going to Sea in a Sieve and there were pages I skimmed over, but there were also parts of this book I loved.  Danny talks about pivotal moments in his life in a relatable way, and this is where the book succeeds.  He'd do a great job writing a book based around key moments in life-first day at work, first buying a house etc- because he infuses enough humour to make it interesting.  'First Times with Danny Baker', I can see it now...if he does that though, I deserve royalties.

Going Off Alarmingly is out now in hardback, published by W and N.

With thanks to the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in return for an honest review.



Thursday, 9 October 2014

I talk about my favourite bookshop Rossiter Books to celebrate the wonderful Books are my Bag campaign

 
I grew up in the beautiful town of Monmouth in the Wye Valley, and it is there, on Church Street, that you can find my favourite bookshop Rossiter Books.  They do also have a branch at nearby Ross-on-Wye but it is the Monmouth branch which I adore.
 
So, what's so good about it?
 
Firstly, as you can see from the picture of the shop front, it is welcoming and full of charm.  The windows advertise readings, signings and other bookish events and showcase not only the latest bestsellers but quirkier titles too.
 
But it is when you get inside that you really get a feel for this unique bookshop.  Just look at this cosy corner which has made fabulous use of two Books are my Bag totes!
 
 
 
As well as shelves full to the brim with a wide range of titles they also sell stationery and gifts-perfect presents for any booklover.
 
 
They also have a children's area which my son adores. 
 
 
And the staff are amazing.  They know their stuff, don't turn their nose up at me as being a weirdo when I say I collect copies of Jane Eyre and they make wonderful displays like this fabulous homage to Eric Carle's Very Hungry Caterpillar!
 
 
If they don't have a book in store they will always order it in, they offer a customer loyalty card, and most of all it is a welcoming environment where you never get pushed out of the door for browsing. 
 
I can't wait for my next visit home.  I have already earmarked the books I want to buy. 
 
You can follow Rossiter Books on twitter @RossiterBooks
 
Celebrate books and bookshops this weekend as Books are my Bag's 2014 campaign to champion the booksellers on our  high streets begins.
 
All pictures my own, taken August 2014.
 

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

The Rosie Effect- Graeme Simsion



The Blurb

The Rosie Effect is the charming and hilarious sequel to Graeme Simsion's bestselling debut novel The Rosie Project.

Until a year ago, forty-one-year-old geneticist Don Tillman had never had a second date. Until he met Rosie, 'the world's most incompatible woman'. Now, living in New York City, they have survived ten months and ten days of marriage.

But though Rosie has taught him the joys of unscheduled sex and spontaneous meal planning, life is still not plain sailing for Don. Not least with the sudden arrival of his best friend Gene, serial philanderer, who takes up residence on their sofa.

Then Rosie drops the mother of all bombshells. And soon Don must face her hormonally induced irrational behaviour as he prepares for the biggest challenge of his previously ordered life - at the same time as dodging deportation, prosecution and professional disgrace.

Is Don Tillman ready to become the man he always dreamed of being? Or will he revert to his old ways and risk losing Rosie forever?

The Review

There are some books in life which are just special.  They manage to reach out and touch people, perhaps even changing opinions along the way.  The Rosie Project did just that (see my review here ).  It is one of my absolutely favourites, a stunning debut which first introduced us to the unlikely pairing of Don and Rosie. 

The Rosie Effect carries on their love story, and like any other married couple out there, there are bumps in the road.  Impending parenthood is difficult for Don to comprehend and the book largely focuses around his efforts to learn the necessary skills to be a father.  He does this in typically Don like ways which causes chaos and leads to a deceptive nine months for both himself and Rosie.

I probably enjoyed this even more than The Rosie Project, in part because I was rooting so much for things to work out well between this unconventional, sometimes extremely irritating couple.  I love Don and Rosie, I really do, but their outlooks on life made me want to bang their heads together and say 'LOVE IS ENOUGH!!!  JUST DO YOUR BEST ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD!' But of course that would never do for either of them, what with Don requiring straightforward explanations and Rosie convinced that her way is the right way.

One of the best things about The Rosie Effect was learning more about Gene, Don's player of a best friend.  His infidelity made me dislike him immensely during the first book (although I thought as a character he was fabulous) but I warmed to him so much more this time around. 

Graeme Simsion is an absolute marvel when it comes to creating warm characters that readers will care about. They are flawed, every single one of them, but they still have charm, beauty, redeeming features. 

I can honestly say I want to read everything Graeme has ever written.  Shopping lists, exam papers- I don't care.  He manages to put a thought provoking spin on everything he writes and as a reader I find that both challenging and engaging. 

I NEED to know what happens next.  And fast. 

No pressure, Mr Simsion, no pressure...

Bad Bridesmaid- Portia MacIntosh Blog Hop

 
I've really enjoyed Portia MacIntosh's previous books and cannot wait to read Bad Bridesmaid.  If it is half as entertaining then I know I'll be in for a treat!  Here's a bit more info to explain what I'm so excited about.
 
Synopsis 
 
‘My wedding is ruined and my marriage is going to fail. And it’s all your fault!'
LA romcom writer Mia Valentina has it all; money, success, a tanned and toned body, golden blonde hair and a string of sexy lovers. She’s almost forgotten her previous self: plain old Mia Harrison. Until a wedding invitation arrives requesting (demanding!) her presence as chief bridesmaid at her younger sister Belle’s upcoming nuptials.
Mia’s barely been back in England before she’s accidentally injured the groom, unintentionally ‘cursed’ the wedding and been caught in a compromising position with her sister’s soon to be brother-in-law!
 
With the wedding of the year going dangerously off the rails, Mia has no time to waste – especially with sexy fireman and best man Leo on hand to help… Will she use all of her expert romance knowledge to save the day or will she just walk away? No one ever said a bad girl had to turn good…
 
Buy Links
iBOOKS


About The Author
 
When she was fifteen-years-old, Portia MacIntosh fell in with a bad crowd… rockstars. 
After disappearing on tour and living the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle for a few years, Portia landed a job in the music industry – but only so that she didn't have to join the real world just yet.


Now in her twenties, Portia is ready to spill the beans on the things she has witnessed over the years. Well, kind of. If her famous friends knew that she was borrowing their lives to inspire her fiction, they would stop inviting her on tour and banish her from the inner circle. Then she really would have to rejoin the real world, and she’s still not ready.

Portia only started writing novels to share her secrets, but then she realised she actually quite liked writing – maybe even more than she likes living on a bus with a bunch of smelly boys – and has since tried her hand at writing about other things.
Social Media Links

Friday, 3 October 2014

Kids Gone Wild- Joel Best and Kathleen A Bogle

 
The Blurb
 
To hear mainstream media sources tell it, the sex lives of modern teenagers outpace even the smuttiest of cable television shows. Teen girls “sext” explicit photos to boys they like; they wear “sex bracelets” that signify what sexual activities they have done, or will do; they team up with other girls at “rainbow parties” to perform sex acts on groups of willing teen boys; they form “pregnancy pacts” with their best girlfriends to all become teen mothers at the same time. From The Today Show, to CNN, to the New York Times, stories of these events have been featured widely in the media. But are most teenage—or younger—children really going to sex parties and having multiple sexual encounters in an orgy-like fashion?

Researchers say no—teen sex is actually not rampant and teen pregnancy is at low levels. But why do stories like these find such media traffic, exploiting parents’ worst fears? How do these rumors get started, and how do they travel around the country and even across the globe?

In Kids Gone Wild, best-selling authors Joel Best and Kathleen A. Bogle use these stories about the fears of the growing sexualization of childhood to explore what we know about contemporary legends and how both traditional media and the internet perpetuate these rumors while, at times, debating their authenticity. Best and Bogle describe the process by which such stories spread, trace how and to where they have moved, and track how they can morph as they travel from one medium to another. Ultimately, they find that our society’s view of kids raging out of control has drastic and unforeseen consequences, fueling the debate on sex education and affecting policy decisions on everything from the availability of the morning after pill to who is included on sex offender registries.

A surprising look at the truth behind the sensationalism in our culture, Kids Gone Wild is a much-needed wake-up call for a society determined to believe the worst about its young people.

Joel Best is Professor of Sociology & Criminal Justice at the University of Delaware. He has published more than twenty books on social problems and deviance, most notably Damned Lies and Statistics.
 
The Review
 

What can I say? I found this book repetitive, based largely around disproven urban myths and generally exploiting sensationalised headlines to grab attention. 

I'm sure there is a market for books aimed at parents around what is the 'normal' sexual activity for a teen (although why any parent would want to scare themselves half to death is beyond me) but Kids Gone Wild discussing sex bracelets and rainbow parties...I'm sorry, but these are not what you as Mums and Dads need to be worried about.  If as a parent you teach them about safe sex and self respect, you are doing it right.  This book refers to media bringing activities like sexting to the fore, yet that is exactly what this is doing under the guise of '(s)experts educating parents'.

Personally, I cannot think of anyone I would recommend this to, unless they were writing a thesis on the subject of teens sexual activity.

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Death of an Avid Reader- Frances Brody BLOG TOUR

 
I've been swept along by the resurgence in 'cosy crime' and Frances Brody is an author I've been wanting to try for some time now.  Her Kate Shackleton books have already got quite a following, one which is growing with each instalment of the series.
 
And the beautiful covers (I mean look at this one- how beautiful can you get?) are old-school mystery with enough of a modern hint to grab the attention of readers of all ages.
 
I can hear what you're saying though... 'Covers are all well and good, but it's what's inside that counts...' so let's get going with the review!
 
The Blurb
 
A lady with a secret
Kate Shackleton's sterling reputation for courageous sleuthing attracts the attention of the venerable Lady Coulton. Hidden in her past is a daughter, born out of wedlock and given up to a different family. Now, Lady Coulton is determined to find her and puts Kate on the case.

A mysterious killing in the library's basement
But as Kate delves deeper into Lady Coulton's past, she soon finds herself thrust into a scandal much closer to home. When the body of the respected Horatio Potter is found in the Leeds Library basement, the quiet literary community is suddenly turned upside down with suspicions, accusations and - much to Kate's surprise - the appearance of a particularly intelligent Capuchin monkey!

The most puzzling case in Kate's sleuthing history yet
Convinced an innocent man has been blamed, Kate sets out to discover the truth. Who would want Dr Potter dead? Does Lady Coulton's missing daughter hold a vital clue? As the stories start to emerge in the seemingly quiet Leeds Library, Kate is learning fast that in this case, she can't judge a book by its cover . . .

The Review
 
There is nothing better on a cold autumn evening than curling up with a wonderfully written mystery and getting totally transported to a different time and place.  Death of an Avid Reader whisked me away to a bygone age, one which in many ways was easier- more simplistic and straightforward.  However, for sleuth Kate Shackleton, life is anything but simple.
 
Lady Coulton is desperate to find her illegitimate daughter and calls upon Kate's expertise in the hope of a speedy discovery.  Yet name changes, family dramas and moving inland from the Yorkshire Coast mean Kate's job is not as easy as it may at first seem.  And before long Kate has the additional challenge of finding a murderer as well as reuniting the mother and daughter...
 
There was a lot to love about this book.  The writing style manages to be fluid and flowing whilst still containing oodles of description which makes it extremely engaging and fast paced.  The quick, snappy dialogue also adds to this, making it a quick, easy read.  On a personal level, I loved the scenes in Scarborough-our UK holiday destination of choice.

I also really warmed to Kate, she is a likable character and a strong woman against the 1920s backdrop.  Death of an Avid Reader is entertaining and a good old-fashioned mystery without the gore and brutality which is often a by product of crime/thriller writing. 

I thoroughly enjoyed Death of an Avid Reader from beginning to end.  It is a gentle, mildly humorous book and I am now a fully paid up member of the 'converted to Kate' crew.  I want to get hold of the rest of the books now and see what other adventures are in store!

FOLLOW THE TOUR!
 
 
 

 
Death of an Avid Reader is released on Thursday 2nd October and available for pre-order now from all good bookshops and online stockists.
 
With thanks to the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in return for an honest review.